help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize