But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
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We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
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I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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