I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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