I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
