My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
