I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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