yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
