also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
They took my balls.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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