She said her name was "party"
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
did i walk over a car last night?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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