We won't sleep together?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
