bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
