She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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