It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
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She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize