Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Swine flu is the new snow day.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
