Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
