very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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