Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
And then my night got REAL pukey
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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