Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
