Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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