yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
