Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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