I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
