shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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