So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
