Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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