We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
