Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
