Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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