Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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