i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
