After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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