youre lurking in front of me
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
