Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
