My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
