TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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