No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
