I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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