Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just had sex on a roof
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You are a genius and a whore.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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