im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
false alarm, still single
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