My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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