She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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