I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
