Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
