I must be too annoying 4 u.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
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I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
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Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
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