well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Randomize
