You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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