at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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