Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
