this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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