we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
