Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
