But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
