I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize