so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
