If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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