omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize