Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
