I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
handjob tips. give me some.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
