I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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